| Damn you procrastination! |
[Nov. 29th, 2006|05:17 am] |
This quarter I was fairly ontop of things in every class...... Except H550. Which is why I'm writing my entire b.s. paper now. Almost done w/ it at 4 AM.... the class is at 8... as in 4 hours from now. I hafta go to CVS to get a soft-cover thingy for it... ya kno, the things you'd put your middle school reports in because you thought it looked sweet? yea, wtf? I thought paperclips were the "in" thing in college. Oh yah, and I have a final in that class in 4 hours as well. That I have not studied for. That I have missed probably a quarter of the classes in since the midterm. can we say "fucked?"
But, otherwise, I am doing much better. Minus my super-awkward moment today. Which I will tell you about, b/c thats what lj is for.
So VOX (voices for planned parenthood) is throwing a Safe Sex-travaganza tomorrow (today, Wednesday) evening. We're raffling off prizes (sextacular ones!) and I volunteered to buy a big box of condoms for one of the prizes. So I go to Target, I'm standing there, deciding if I should get the big box of lubricated ones, or regular box of Her Pleasure, when my counseling psych prof, who is also my academic counselor, walks down the aisle. we see each other, so I give her a "hi, how's it going?" and get a "good, how are you?" "oh i'm fine"
So I grab my big box of condoms, and hse goes on to browse the tampons.
Now if they were for me I wouldn't have felt so weird. If it hadn't been a Tuesday, when I have her class on Wednesday, it also would not have been so strange. But it was definately AWKWARD! so awkward I felt the need to tell the poor kid at the register about it... spreading my awkwardness.
But hey, if you're an OSU student, come to Page Hall tomorrow nite at 6:30 for cookies, pizza, cider, a showing of the movie Cider House Rules, and sextacular raffle prizes~!
...AAAAAAAAND back to typing my god-awful paper |
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| regret |
[Oct. 15th, 2006|01:12 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | hiding in my room | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crappy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Last Man on the Moon by SR-71 | ] |
had I known it would hurt this bad easing off of them, I wonder if I would have started taking them in the first place. As good as the last 1.5 years were, I feel like I'm right back where I started. blah. |
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| o geez |
[May. 30th, 2006|01:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | school | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Stadium Arcadium | ] |
damn, end of May... been away for a while. keep having weirder and weirder dreams... like to the point where I don't know where to start when describing them. Basically I decided i hate girls. they make bad friends. also, I've discovered the pettiness does not end with high school. Like, hey, lets tell this one girl that the other hates her, and be best buddies with her even tho we claim to hate her as well. follow that? At least I have the Captain! :-) Capt. Franklin that is. oh well, two more weeks then a nice three month break from this. |
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| it's been a while |
[Jan. 21st, 2006|02:08 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sick | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Saves the Day ~ At Your Funeral | ] |
last nite was one of the craziest in a while. i was doing hair, for a pageant or competition or somethin. it was either at a house or high school. i kept goin up and down the stairs, explaining to the people that i didnt hafta pay. the curling irons were super small and hard to use. we went to a party afterwards with lots of food and people. the one girl i was talking to was suicidal and wanted to tell her mom but was too nervous. i helped them sit down together and talk and everything worked out okay. the girl decided she was gonna get help to overcome her problems. later she went for a ride w / some boy and got in a car crash and died. it was really sad. she had made some t-shirt before she left and we decided to reproduce it and sell it and start a charity. my cousin taylor was lying on the wooden step infront of hte fireplace and was swinging her feet and put a hole in it. some other stuff went on with different girls but i dont remember details. when i went home, one of my friends stopped by w/ her mom and stepdad and dog. she pulled me aside and told me her stepdad had tried to have sex w/ her and her mom was trying to convince her to forgive him. it was really bizarre. then i went on some trip w/ people to japan. i got lost in a japanese hospital and people were hunting me down. i bought japanese cigarettes which were longer and less gross than normal ones. some lady caught up w/ me and was gonna take me in, but the pack of cigarettes turned into a bomb and i got away. i found some of the other girls at the bus stop, but maureen and casey werent there yet. i think i eventually got back but i dont remember. it was just weird, cuz usually i dont cry or smoke in my dreams. i had a weird one the nite before too but dont remember it totally. |
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| Indian Genocide break |
[Nov. 26th, 2005|01:04 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  indescribable | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Fiona Apple - Extraordinary Machine (entire album) | ] |
Sooo I figured I might as well put an entry with the occurances of this weekend, because there were several notable occurances.
WEDNESDAY:
~came home, took 3.5 hours instead of the usual 2.25 hours. Good times chatting w/ dad, telling him some of my drunken stories. Realized I can get along with my parents fine, as long as I'm only around them once in a while. weather was bad and we got home late so I got out of "Thanksgiving Eve"
THURSDAY:
~almost didn't go to my cousin's because Chardon is the frickin snow capital of the state, but we managed to make it out there. ate green bean casarole (highlight of the day), mashed potatoes, veggies, and pineapple stuffing. My cousin has two kids, Thomas (3) and Taylor (5). Taylor insisted on showing me her new hamster, and giving it new food and water. she told me they dont handle Peanut often because she bites. So I manage to get the food dish out and in without incident, but Peanut is getting pretty pissed off at all the commotion by the time I take the water bottle out. As I try to put it back, Peanut goes for the cage door. I'm holding it semi-closed with the hand that is not handling the water bottle, then *BAM* p.o.'d Peanut bites me! effin biotch!! Taylor's sitting there going "the bottle is too low, she wont be able to reach it!" and her mom and dad come in and are like "oh did she bite you?" So I just played it off like "its ok, I've gotten myself worse w/ scissors at work." but it bled and hurt pretty bad. stupid rat. visited my grandma in the nursing home, b/c i figured if i didnt go she'd die w/in the week and I'd feel guilty for not seeing her one last time. Went back to the cousin's house, played cards for a bit, then thankfully my dad convinced my mom it was time to go. came home, hung out w/ James and some of his friends, whom I went to HS w/ but never met. they were cool. we played kings, but they had weird rules. went home around 1, roads were awful. didn't go over 15 mph the whole way back.
FRIDAY:
~went to bed at 1:30, woke up at 4:30 to see if my sister was going shopping. she was still in bed so i went back to sleep. woke up at 10, had breakfast, went shopping w/ my mom. bought way more stuff than I should have, but o well. I havent' been shopping in forever. got shoes, shirts, cds. came home around 6, had dinner. Lynz picked me up around 8 after getting Stine and Jenn. We then went to Yours Truly to eat and chill, realized Lynz had never been to the "special store" and headed there around 9:30. Our favorite old guy wasn't working, but we browsed for a bit. Jenn and Stine finally convinced me to make the big purchase hehe. guess we'll see how that goes. Stopped by 24hr Wal-Mart for some more awesome shopping. Saw Lou's friend Joe, who stared right at us then pretended not to know us. fucker. Made some more good purchases. Drove around a bit more singing along to FOB. Good times. I love those girls so much. They told me I was "giddy and glowing" and not like the usual Andrea, but in a good way. That made me happy to hear. They've been there through it all; I've known Lynz and Jenn since 2nd grade, and Stine since 6th. crazy how that happens. Stine's stayin in St Louis over winter break, which is sad, but gives me a reason to get away from home. Got back, chatted w/ the parentals a bit. James called, wanted me to meet them over at Marina's, but I'm kinda tired. I wish I could see them all though. Missed out on Kan Zaman tonight too. Talked with Ryan. Crazy child. 6 dbl shots in 30 minutes. who does that? I swear he's gonna die from alcohol poisoning or something. How do I just tolerate that? I guess I figure I'm lucky to have him and there are worse habits he could have. Right? I dunno. It's snowing. God I hate the snow. Found out today that one of my ex-coworkers is stripping. She does not have the looks or body to be doing that. Makes me sad kinda, when I wanted to go to Northwestern my other coworkers joked that I could do that to make money on the side. Now this girl is throwing away any chance she had at a good career in hair. I guess seh only made $50 her first night there... I think she should take that as a hint.
All I think of is this girl, I think her name was Christina, who came in one morning I was working alone. She said she worked at a bar and just wanted her hair done up nice. When I asked what bar she worked at, she looked ashamed and admitted that she stripped. I talked to her and she spilled everything. How she was living with her boyfriend, then he kicked her out, and she was living in her car, then started stripping, and could buy a condo w/in 3 days. She said she was too ashamed to even look at herself in the mirror anymore, and drank easily a bottle of liquor every day. She was such a sweet girl, and I felt so bad for her, wished I could do something. I told her she was welcome to stop by anytime she needed to talk, and things would eventually get better, this didn't have to be her whole life. Who knows, maybe she's working with Elise now.
Alrite, time for bed. Can't wait to go back to OSU tomorrow, where it doesn't snow more than a few inches at a time. We have a good 5" on teh ground right now, and thats after some melted this morning. And it keeps on coming. I'm really not looking forward to the drives home from work over winter break. damn snow. |
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| back to dreams... |
[Nov. 17th, 2005|09:29 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cold | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Rilo Kiley - A Man/Me/Then Jim | ] |
I worked at Danny's again. I shoved all my stuff in the side of a station: sunglasses, bras, towels, purse. I wore my "There's nothing lucky about a bunny with no feet" shirt. Krissy and Renee still worked there. There was a deer in the yard outside, and I told them he was my boyfriend. Then I realized there was a lady deer lying with him, and was all upset. They ran off, and two or three little lion cubs went with them. I walked out the door and i was in my garage, and my sister was getting ready to take a trip. She had this huge suitcase, and my dad was packing it for her.
I was in the car with my mom and she was upset about something, swearing in Polish. Lynz kept calling me, and even though she was at school she was trying to have a party at her house. She called back and said her mom wouldnt let her, but if anything was going on to go pick her up from school.
Damn snow. |
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| Because it's 5:42, I work until 9, and I don't wanna grade right now! |
[Nov. 1st, 2005|05:41 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bored | ] |
10 RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME
1. I don't like chocolate cake
2. I'm left handed
3. I don't appreciate everything I have and how lucky I am
4. I'm a vegetarian
5. When I was little, if my parents tried to make me finish my dinner and I didn't want to I'd throw up at the table
6. I'm nosy, even though I try not to be
7. I tend to overanalyze people, even though I can usually tell what they're thinking or how they feel about me
8. I think bright orange is the ugliest color ever
9. When I was little I always wished my family would move so I could meet more people
10. I truly believe I will be put in an insane asylum at some point in my life
9 WAYS TO WIN MY HEART
1. Don't cheat on me
2. Cuddle
3. Buy me daisies
4. Don't be clingy
5. Give me a back rub
6. Laugh at my weird jokes
7. Kidnap me once in a while
8. Teach me something other than a sport
9. Give me space
8 THINGS I CARRY/WEAR EVERYDAY
1. green messenger bag
2. dorm key
3. phone
4. buckID
5. 2-5 rubber bands on my left wrist
6. 1-3 rings
7. earrings
8. Hello Kitty Watch
7 OF MY FAVORITE THINGS
1. daisies
2. rainy days
3. getting up early on nice days
4. driving
5. hugs
6. changing my hair color/cut
7. pain (physical, but not especially emotional or mental)
6 PLACES I'D LIKE TO VISIT
1. California
2. Poland
3. Hawaii (again)
4. Egypt
5. Australia
6. My grandpa's old house
5 THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE
1. have children
2. get my PhD
3. travel
4. have an honest, heart-to-heart with my parents
5. hear someone tell me they love me, and know they mean it
4 THINGS I'M AFRAID OF
1. conformity
2. people secretly hating me
3. making huge mistakes
4. going back to how I once was
3 THINGS I DO EVERYDAY
1. shower (usually)
2. laugh
3. tell the truth
2 THINGS I'M TRYING NOT TO DO NOW
1. my grading
2. sing
1 PERSON I WANT TO SEE NOW
1. Mr. Lammert |
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| Randoms |
[Nov. 1st, 2005|02:56 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Damien Rice - Cheers, Darlin' | ] |
Yeah, I dunno, apparently I may have contributed to the ruining of someone's life this weekend. It wasn't my fault tho. I was just my normal bittersweet self! Why do people expect you to be nice and courteous to those who don't deserve it? I think our shower is permanently stained pink from my hair. I drank an entire bottle of Boone's Farm by myself tonite and it reminded me of the good ol' days of Krunkfest this past summer. I miss James. I doubt he really misses me. I stubbed my toe really hard on the bathroom door today and its already starting to bruise, within like 4 hrs. Its not my big or little toe tho, like it usually it, its the 4th toe, or 2nd smallest. either way, it hurts. I hafta admit, I'm getting tired of waiting for the inevitable to happen. I feel stupid for thinking I had a boy or two figured out. I know better than that. "I don't love you anymore. goodbye." Is an awesome way to break up with someone. I hope noone ever uses that on me, because I think it would hurt. But someone would have to love me in order to not love me anymore, and that won't happen anytime soon either. Being "mom" with drunken friends totally kills any sort of buzz. I still firmly believe being drunk is no excuse for doing or not doing anything. I don't need nice. I think there are people sitting on the roof yelling. I wanna sit on the roof. Oh well. That's enough for tonite I suppose. |
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| 7:07 in the freakin morning |
[Oct. 28th, 2005|07:07 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | mix cd from a floormate | ] |
yeah, I guess deep down I knew the feeling wouldn't last for long... ah well, back to my "normal"
...more on this later perhaps |
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| I need to vent... |
[Oct. 25th, 2005|10:02 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | bitchy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Something Corporate - Konstantine | ] |
So I'm at work (got here 1/2 hr late, oops) and the consultant I'm working with is one I've never met before. One of his friends is workin on her prelab, and they're talking. He just told her that his gf recently broke up with him because he told her she was gaining some weight. They'd been together a year and she had gained about 15 lbs since they met. Ok, I figure if they were dating that long he has a right to make a comment to her. But then he goes on to say when they started dating she was 5'7" 120#. Is a girl thats 5'7" 135# really considered fat?? "I tried to be sensitive about it, she called me a jackass but I was just honest." He previously referred to her as a "heifer". And honestly, he's not all that skinny either. Do most guys really think this way?? It's times like these I'm glad that I'm single, and don't hafta put up w/ shit like that. Seriously, he's prolly sitting there, looking at me, thinking "man, what a fatty." ok, i'm done.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alrite, I owe ya a dream after that. so last nite I dreamt I was working at mastercuts, but they had hired like 3 more girls, all of which were in my cos class. I had been back a day and already they were being bitches, so I asked to be transferred. Also, we had been at someone's house, and parked the car in the basement. They had a car elevator, it was kinda odd. there was more, but i don't remember it. |
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| wow... |
[Oct. 24th, 2005|09:40 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  okay | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Don't Let Me Down - No Doubt | ] |
for the first time, in a very long time, I feel "normal." And it feels wonderful. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 21st, 2005|09:33 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  determined | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | From Autumn To Ashes | ] |
I've learned the best way to live is without regrets... live for the moment, do what makes you happy. Don't worry about what other people say or think, if it's what you want, nothing else should matter. Think I'm greedy for saying that? That's nice, because I don't care.
Don't assume I'm nice, pretty, caring, or smart. I never said I was. |
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| I'm baaaaaaack |
[Oct. 18th, 2005|11:48 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Killers- Change your Mind | ] |
~I lived in the basement of Baker but the stairs were all weird and there were Indians that lived outside on campus in wigwams and mesas and they tried to sell you stuff every time you left and i had some really stuck up bitchy roommate who smoked and noone i knew went to OSU anymore but they all came to say goodbye and all the equiptment had GloboGym/Dodgeball faces and sayings and my parents weren't helping me move in.
I had some sort of accident and was technically dead, but i had to stick a stethoscope in the back of my brain to keep the blood flowing, and the next nite i had to switch it to put it in my lungs. we went to some wedding, and i had to weave this fabric on a folding chair. there was some creepy guy taht kept hitting on me, and i was wearing like a blue sundress and thick dark nylons, and i just kept telling him "not yet." it was at a pub and everyone was wasted.
I walked to a Cord Camera from campus and saw Casey on the way. i walked past some construction, and it was a friday so all the workers had their kids with them operating machinery. i bought shirts at the camera store and the stupid girls in front of me tried to forge a check or two. when i got back to the hotel i was dancing around w/ my sister and a friend. the wallpaper was green and brown and reddish/orange pinstriped and peeling off the walls. my dad was brushing his teeth, but the sink was overflowing and there was another toothbrush in the bottom of it. i was talking to some guy, then used his toothbrush after he was done. my dad made some comment and i told him he was 88.
yeah, it was crazy last nite. when i woke up at one point, my sheet was wrapped around my neck. wouldn't that have been a crazy way to die?? |
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| It's hot! ...not Paris-Hilton-hot, just stolen-hot |
[Jun. 1st, 2005|02:17 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Jimi Hendrix - "Little Wing" | ] |
01. Reply with your name and I will write something I like about you.
02. I will then tell what song/movie/icon reminds me of you.
03. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, I'll tell you what it would be.
04. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
05. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
07. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
08. Put this in your journal.. ta da |
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| Even crazier than the last... |
[May. 22nd, 2005|01:27 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  groggy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | First Day of my Life ~ Bright Eyes | ] |
Yes, this morning was another of those "wtf" mornings! sooo here it goes:
Beau (my dog) was down on campus. My mom brought him and he was just running all over. I managed to grab his collar at a bus stop, and rode the bus back holding him. We got to my room, I had no clue where my mom was, so I just brought him in. he jumped all over the room - literally. He was on the chair, fridge, then made it up to my loft, curled up, and went to sleep. I tried calling my mom to come get him, and the convo was somthing like this:
Her:hello?
Me: Hey mom!
H:who's mom?
M:you, mom, Vikki Halco, its your daughter Andrea
H:hmm, ok, I don't really know who you are or what you're saying, but what do you want?
M:you need to come get beau, I can't keep him in the dorms!
H:well I can't really do that, Im on my way to Arizona to buy a chicken
M:wtf? why cant you get a chicken from home?
H:[something to the effect of]well the arizona chickens won't pluck themselves!
*hang up*
Tried calling home and my dad's cell but noone answered either. So I was up on my loft and this really annoying guy that's in the CSE200 class I do was in my room, saying something about he wanted me to move out and hes had enough of me. I told him I wasn't moving and if he really wanted we could talk to the hall director, but he said not to tell anyone and just move out, then punched me twice really hard in the leg, and threatened to kill my dog. I was getting upset, but then I was all "wtf, you're not my roommate, Kristen's my roommate!" he started laughin all evil-like and makin fun of how upset i was. I started screaming at him for being such an asshole and he left, but i followed him outside the room, and htere were people dancing in the hallway. not just like random, but there were groups of people with signs above their heads that said which mental disorder they had. like the manic depressives were sobbing, the schizo's were dancing with thier invisible partners, the narcoleptics would dance a bit hten stop...
yeah it was really weird. I would look up what it all means, but I'm kinda hungry right now, and I think I'm just gonna blame it on the Hairy Buff from last nite! |
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| bathrooms |
[May. 16th, 2005|10:46 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Memory - Sugarcult | ] |
yay, finally have more dreams to report! First Saturday night:
I was a stripper. There was a group of us and we worked in a small circus-like tent. we were all dressed brightly and were fairly busy. This one guy came in dressed in an army uniform and said something to me, but I don't remember what it was but really didn't want to be with him. I found another girl, asked her if she was new, and told her to go with him. I take a break and go to the bathroom. It's a fairly large area with stalls and beat-up mirrors on the opposite walls. The walls are all a pale yellow color and several other girls are working. I look in the mirror and I'm wearing a tutu-like skirt with a see-thru tank top. I had really heavy makeup and my hair was different but I don't remember how. I talk with some of the other girls then we head back out. I think I saw some other people I knew but don't remember for sure.
Last nite, I don't remember as many details, and that pisses me off cuz when I woke up I remembered everything. I think it was even more f*cked up which is why I wish I could remember... All I know was I was in a bathroom, fairly open and white. There was one toilet, and I think I kept seeing people I knew die in it... really weird and random.
SO my sister bought me a dream dictionary for my birthday and I figured why not? So first I looked up bathroom, because it was in both, and the dictionary says, "For a young woman to dream of a bathroom, foretells that her inclinations trend too much toward light pleasures and frivolities." yellow is happiness or good energy. didn't say anything about the stripping. but all I have to say is so what if I "trend toward light pleasures and frivolities?" I've been single for almost 2 freakin years and I seem to repel any guy who wants a relationship, so a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do! :-/ Ok time to sleep, tomorrow we attempt to start workin out again. Gotta get my @ss in shape for prom and I only have 2 wks! damn bein sick kept me from the gym for 3 wks... goodnite! |
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| this one came back... |
[Mar. 29th, 2005|08:56 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  full | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the hum of computers | ] |
mmk i didn't like this one... dont remember how it started out, but i was out w/ my parents then went home by myself. got a creepy feeling as soon as i went inside. turned on a few lights before i realized i hadnt closed the garage door. stepped outside and did that but i was hearing strange noises and gettin even more spooked. i called ken, but it didnt go thru till the third time. i was talkin to him tryin to explain but he basically rambled for a bit then said he had to go. i had a horrible gut feeling and knew someone was inside our house, but couldnt do nething about it. i was walking around my house with the tv remote in my hand, cuz i guess i thought i could use it as a weapon. but i knew i had to meet up w/ my parents again, so i left the house but didnt tell them when i saw them b/c i convinced myself i was imagining things. then someone called my dad and said they htought someone broke into our house, so we went back home. we had a U-shape driveway, and when we pulled in my mom and a lady i used to wrok with were looking in the garage. the outside lights started flashing and they both started screaming and flipping out. my dad and i both tried to call 911 on our cell phones, but it was busy or went to voicemail, and i remember thinking "wtf does the police station hvae voicemail for!?" a cop car or two pulled up, but i think the guy got away or was friends w/ the cops.
i dunno, it spooked me. those are the ones i hate... where nothing huge might happen but u just get a creeped-out vibe. i think its b/c nothing horrible like that ever happened to my family, and im just afraid our time is coming eventually. as much as i dont get along w/ them i wouldnt wish that on them.
but yeah, im at work right now and its dead. its the first week of classes, who would be in the computer lab??! o well, at least im getting paid to sit here and do this. 1 more hour, yaay. ooh and guess who has a birthday coming up... i wonder :-p mmk well i should prolly get back to my own homework. oh! and if my away message ever says im at work, i finally created a SN for in the lab: AndieLynn47. pleeze im me b/c distractions are always welcome!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 15th, 2005|07:54 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Incubus - Pardon Me | ] |
hrmm, not much to report... last week i survived on about 2-3 hrs of sleep every night, sunday - friday. I didnt like it. reminded me too much of senior year... goodness i dont know what I was thinking. I would refuse to sleep until schoolwork was done, resulting in no more than 2-5 hrs of sleep every nite, 6 nites a week (sundays i could sleep in until 10) which meant much sleep deprivation, lethargy, and my good friend No Doz. After just a week i was back to the zombie phase... where it feels like i'm just an onlooker to the rest of the world, with random episodes of vertigo, headaches, and loss of depth perception. wheee! This equals no good dreams... but i think i had one friday or saturday nite about being raped, that was lovely... it was very surreal, and the man seemed nice enough, helped me clean up after and everything, made sure i got into my car ok. anyways, i should probably get back to studying. I was going to go ot the Styx concert tonite, but noone would go w/ me. plus today was pretty near god-awful and figured I didnt wanna risk going out in public again and something else f*cking with me.
I'll be home on break March 18-27, anyone else gonna be home???? |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 13th, 2005|07:49 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | lethargic | ] |
Hmm I definately forgot about this thing for awhile... I think I'm going to surrender and make it more of a normal journal than a dream journal so you actually have something to read. A few nites ago I had a dream, more vivid than the recent ones...
I was on a cruise w/ Kristen and Michaela, not sure where we were going. at one point i was sitting at the very front end of the boat, but there was no railing or nething and where my butt was was only a foot or so from the water. We kept running into snow piles, and the boat almost tipped over several times. There were shops on the boat, like little places u'd find in some native town (maybe? i've never been to one so i can't say for sure) Don't think I bought anything. When we got off the boat at night I was wearing Jeans and a hoodie, cuz im lazy like that, and I saw Jenn and Lynz.
Yeah, nothin too exciting, my apologies. The past week or two I've been having issues falling asleep. Like, I'll lie in bed awake for a good 30-45 min and not be able to fall asleep. Then I'll get up and try to do some work for a lil bit, or take a few NyQuil and eventually pass out. I read an article the other day tho that said talking to a therapist can help w/ insomnia. I see her Thursday, so who knos, mebe it'll do somethin. Haven't seen her the past two weeks, once I canceled cuz I was sick, and the other she couldnt fit me in. See? there I go digressing already. Guess this won't be all bout dreams nemore... Well, I'm off topic as it is, so y not?
Saw some family members today... Now I'm good with not going home until Spring Break. I really feel bad about how I feel towards them, but I really cannot help it. I've tried. I really have, but like, as soon as I was in the room with them yesterday I had this feeling like I needed to escape. I don't quite understand it... Guess I just hafta hold onto the idea that someday I will be happy, far far away from them, and find someone who does care about me... sadly it sounds crazy and I almost doubt it even as i type it. oh well I've rambled too much. Time to read lovely texts on Sociology and Astronomy. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 27th, 2004|10:03 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | awake | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Round Here - Counting Crows | ] |
ok nothin too good from the past couple days, but here's what i got:
dec 23:my boob fell off. yup, thats right. the left was the same size, but teh right as about half to a third of its normal. i think it was cancer, but there were no scars or nethin. the guy i was with was like "aww i think its kinda cute" *creepy* i was pist cuz they finally got to a size i was happy with. ***LATER*** i was making my bed in a new dorm, new roomie for some reason, and i was going to go to class without making my bed and they all freaked out. there was a girla nd two guys in the room, and they're like "wow whats wrong with you, how can u just leave it unmade?" and so the four of them carried me off to the psych ward, one holding each of my limbs. when i got there the nice elderly-man-doctor walked me out to the pool and we sat and chatted. turns out the college was specifically for crazy people, and some are more crazy than others. so i told him all my problems and he was nice and sat and listened.
dec 24: all i remember is sitting at a table with this guy and staring at his class ring. it was gold with a black stone, but the writing was in a different language so i couldnt make it out.
i mite have had another driving-and-crash dream last nite, but i cant remember much of it. o well, hope everyone had a lovely christmas. 1 week till i go back to school! |
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pleasntnghtmare's journal